I catered my own wedding. Looking back, even I cannot believe it. But I was not alone in assuming that one can actually cater their own wedding. I bought a book with that same title! How can there be a how-to book on catering one's own wedding if it cannot be done?
Aside from cooking the food, I sew some of the entourage's dresses, made the dinner napkins, baked the cake, and made the flower arrangements. How crazy it that! That's maybe the reason why I cannot remember a lot about the actual wedding. The only thing vivid in my memory was walking down the aisle in my parents' arms to Pippin's theme song, tears running down my face as I meet my husband (we were already two years into our civil marriage when we had the church celebrations), probably crying out of sheer exhaustion! LOL!
One thing for sure, I will have a lot of anecdotes to tell the grandchildren on what happens when you cater your one wedding!
Now that I am an event planner, I approach wedding planning with a more professional attitude. Every bride wants her dream wedding and every groom wants his bride to have her dream wedding. During the wedding planning stage, unless the groom has a hefty hedge fund to manage or the bride is the daughter of a guy with a hefty hedge fund, plans tend to take the unrealistic course. I realize that every bride and groom really needs an objective third person, mostly to pull them back to earth when their plans are becoming too ambitious.
With all the attention given to weddings -- from just segments in every morning talk show, there are now numerous shows on television devoted to the wedding theme, from the bridezillas to father of the bride to what not to wear, weddings have become too commercialized. It should be the perfect dress, the ideal setting, fabulous bouquet, glorious floral centerpieces, rich linens and the most delectable food. The thing is, not everyone can afford the weddings they show on television. One has to have numerous sponsors, corporate sponsors in fact, to put together all those produced for TV weddings. They also have artists to airbrush every single strand that needs to be put in place for that perfect picture. A lot of money and professional help is involve to attain that television definition of "perfect wedding".
Lost within the desire to achieve the perfect wedding is what should be the reason why people get married in the first place. To vow to love each other "for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, till death do us part" in front of their community, the people they love --family and friends. Wedding should be remembered for how everyone has taken time off from the routine of everyday life to come together and celebrate the union of two people who are very much in love with each other. It should hold lasting memories of reunions, of hugs and embraces, of catching up and reconnecting. It should provide the newly married couple assurance and security that around the banquet table are the people who will be there for them as they make their journey together as a couple. People who will support them when they have the inevitable lovers' quarrel and who will celebrate with them every milestone in their married life.
When I was younger, I would hear the older people tell couples who are not able to spend a lot of money on a lavish wedding give them the assurance that since they did not get the perfect wedding, they would end up with a perfect marriage. I've always thought that was such a cope-out. But hey, now that I'm older and wiser, I'll take even the not so perfect marriage anytime!
To our friends, Scott and Leona, we send our love and wish that you achieve your own definition of a perfect marriage. Good luck, God Bless and we are here when you need us......
